Learning to Live and Let Go
by kiuna'yukina
Summary: Cagalli muses over what she has, what she once had, and what she will never have again. Post GSD.
1. Eternal Slumber

**Living On and Letting Go**

**Summary:**

Cagalli muses over what she has, what she once had, and what she will never have again. Post GSD.

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**Disclaimer: **I own many things, the least of which is Gundam Seed, Seed Destiny, or any of its affiliates.

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_I miss you..._

Those used to be the words my mind would unconsciously utter, accompanied with a cold feeling, and a contracting pain in my chest.

I used to just stare into space emotionlessly, after which I could feel myself grip my fists tighter. Unknowingly, warm tears would cascade endlessly down my face, and everything would be silent.

_Do you think of me too..?_

Another thought would cross my mind, and as I would coldly face the bitter reality, I would notice the tears flow angrily down my face.

_Did you.. Forget.. Me..?_

As I would painfully close my eyes, more thoughts would incessantly course through my very soul.

And as I shiver from the harsh cold emanating from my very being, everything would fade away, until all that is left is a numbing feeling, which makes me truly lose contact within reality.

_I want to sleep forever._

Nothing is left anymore. All that remains is the broken shell of what has once been.

_I don't mind sleeping forever, as long as I can forget you._

No one knows that I am like this. And I intend for it to stay that way. Everyone is content knowing I can smile, and that I have moved on. They do not have to concern themselves with the truth.

_I tried so hard to forget you, but I just can't seem to let you go._

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**Author's Note:**

This is my first Gundam Seed fic. I was listening to _Fields of Hope_ while I wrote this. You should try it too. It complements the mood perfectly. Sorry for the angst, Im just feeling rather down lately. I apologize too for the short length. I aim for quality, not quantity. Also, I intend this to be a two-shot, with me posting the other half if people tell me that they want me to continue. I hope you like it. Please Review. Thanks.

**Love, kiuna'yukina**


	2. Without Regrets

**Without Regrets**

**A/N:**

Im really sad no one reviewed… I mean, at least 150 hits and 0 reviews! That's just sad… Im just thankful _someone _told me to continue.. She's my best friend, the one person who **always, without fail **supports me in every fic, story, poem, drabble or plain document that I write.

_(sigh..) I wouldn't know what to do without you, Len... _

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**Disclaimer: **

I own many things, the least of which is Gundam Seed, Seed Destiny, or any of its affiliates.

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_The moment you give up… _

I stare into nothingness as time seems to pass me by. I would question myself, doubting my inevitable answer.

_Is the moment you lose what you are fighting for… _

Haven't I lost you already? Then why am I still fighting..?

I can see you are happy. I can sense you are content. What else could I possibly be fighting for?

I told you once, I only wish for your happiness, even if, it takes me out of the picture.

Never did I imagine those very words would haunt my soul today. But I guess in a way, what I told you then, holds true to this very day.

_Letting go is different from..._

You can smile now. You can laugh whole-heartedly. She is the one who gives you the happiness you rightfully deserve. The contentment I cannot even begin to wish I could give you. She is one you long to be with now. She is the one who completes you. She is the one who holds your heart, the one you love.

_Giving up..._

I guess with that, I have no regrets. I have always longed for your happiness, more than anything else I could ask for. And though it may torment me now, I believe that someday, I will move on. Seeing you smile so blissful and content, I find I have nothing else I would rather wish for.

I may not be the one by your side, but that won't matter anymore.

And as I look back, it was a lesson I never thought I'd have to learn.

_It was never easy, but I finally learned to let you go._

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**Author's Note:**

I hope I was able to give the hopeful ending I was aiming for. I believe that people cannot fully appreciate this, unless they are in the same state I am in now. Don't get me wrong, I am a firm AthrunxCagalli, but for a while, I stopped and really thought about what Cagalli might be thinking letting Athrun go. And as I experience somewhat similar events in my own life, I came to realize that there is so much more to loving a person than just wanting for them to be with you and to love you in return. Sometimes, we have to sacrifice, to let go. And it is when we do that, that we find that _that _person's happiness is what really matters most of all.

"_One day, on a green morning, One day, I will make it there. Because in this wintered sky, I still believe. In Fields of Hope."_

_-From Rie Tanaka's Fields of Hope_

It has been very exhausting, but fun all the same. I hope you liked this short, two-shot I made. Please review, it means a lot. Thanks.

**Love, kiuna'yukina**


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